I fall hard. I fall fast. I go all in, and I don’t hold back. I’m too honest, and I’m in love with vulnerability and openness.
Now I am not just talking about romantic relationships, I am talking about all relationships with people (and I suppose in my case animals too!). In this new chapter in my life I am learning about who I am, what I like, what I want out of life. And this was a new discovery for me.
I guess this side of me has always been there, I just didn’t have the ability to express It or explore it. To fully explain where I’m coming from, let me go deeper.
At Tony Robbins this November, my best friend and I went together. Now at the event she participated and I crewed. The part of the event I valued the most were the conversations with her after each day. Together we learned and we shared. Casey & I are the type of best friends that literally tell each other when our heart beats funky, or what we ate for lunch. We LITERALLY do not hold back, which is something I admire and respect about our friendship. Similarly we’re each others middle of the night phone calls when shit hits the fan, or we need a reality check.
So at Tony, we were talking about our pasts, present and futures. She was telling me that before she met her husband ( who is a literal SAINT and their relationship is #relationshipgoalsAF ) she sat down and wrote out of a list of what she wanted in a future relationship and she wouldn’t settle for anything less.
Manifesting at it’s finest, right?
So I did that. I wrote out EVERYTHING I want in a future relationship. I also did a separate list for everything I wanted in any relationship I have because you are who you surround yourself with, right?
So that brings me to the present. I am not a fan of one word, surface conversations. I am the type of person that goes from 0 to 100 REAL FLIPPING QUICK because I go deep fast. I think I learned to do this through mediumship because I end up knowing more about the person in an hour then some of their closest relationships — but I also realized how much I crave that and it is a necessary part of who I am. I want to know YOU. It doesn’t matter to me if its a story you want to share, a meal you love, or the deepest darkest parts of you. I want to walk through it, I want to understand. If there’s a garden of weeds (as Tony says) I want to see them if you want to share them and we will pull them out together. I’m the girl that has 45 minute conversations with my Uber driver and our drive was only 10 minutes. I’m the girl that sits next to someone on the airplane and listens as someone shares their life. And as pointed out by my friend, I apparently put off a vibe that screams, “I’m here for you” because of the amount of shares I get on a daily basis.
** Side Note Story: Yesterday at the Zumba event, I had at least 4 people throughout the day come up and share with me, cry with me, and tell me all about what their going through because they have seen me be vulnerable on Facebook, or here. And that is EXACTLY why I do share, because I know someone out there is going through it too. **
But that is me.
What I also learned is that everyone is completely different, and that level of authenticity isn’t for everyone. And that is quite alright. Whatever works for you, I accept and love.
In conclusion, I decided to share this mini revelation about myself with you for a couple different reasons:
Number One, I realized I haven’t written a blog in months. I will explain that that is because I have a lot to say, I just can’t currently. And I won’t write anything that isn’t genuine or authentic (there it is again, LOL).
Number Two, I realize that if this exercise helped me – maybe you can benefit from it too. My advice – never ever ever settle for anyone. Compromise is one thing. Settling is another. Write your list of what you want in a relationship and in a romantic relationship and see what that does for you when you’re around people. You’ll realize pretty quickly what you want & if that person is meant to be in your circle.
Number Three, this helps SO MUCH when it comes to intuitive individuals like us. If you’re like me, you probably feel and know a TON all the time. I get so drawn into the energy of someone else, occasionally I put them before my own needs and wants. I’ve found myself in situations that I think to myself “Um, Why am I doing this?!” So having that list to counterbalance the environment you are in as well as the people you’re around is exceptionally helpful when it comes to knowing what YOU want vs. what someone else wants for you.
Thank you for reading, thank you for sharing, and thank you for sending in your stories. I will always read them, and be here for you.
Love to you all